to have or not to have

I got married recently. I am 31. Does that mean I should have a kid? I cannot help but muse about as the usual questions about "settling down" comes barreling at me. I think I may actually have the answer. It all started last weekend when some aunty asked the million dollar question at a kids party and my quick answer was "I'm already married". That was followed by some very confused looks. Then it dawned on me...she meant kids!

An epiphany struck me today. No I don't want kids. Not now. Settled down to me meant married. That's it.

When one is settled down, one is happy and I'm very. Kids are for people with time to fill. I don't. I have dinners and plays and traveling and all that. Don't get me wrong, people with kids are fine. They have kids however because a. Its more important to them than other activities.  b. Ooops accident.

It also means their friends have decided kids are more important to have and so there are fewer activities. My kind have not surrendered to lacing their vocabulary with single syllabus words and the cuteness of miniature everything. Not yet. Life is fluid and things may change. But for now, Aunty, I am settled down. Settled down is one being happy and balanced. Not popping babies...that's unsettling...

thanks for stopping by

I don't know what to feel having heard the news that you have left this transit lounge. I didn't get to know you all that well. You were a stranger dropping by for a chat. Sharing some knowledge on life, love and what it means to be abundent in joy and generous in spirit.... you make me think even now..think about these things. I now have a new concept that you were never meant to be in this world for long...you have attained your nirvana I choose to believe... thanks for stopping by. You will be much missed and always remembered. To my friend CTZ.

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loss

I lost braddell today.

When it hits me, it is no different than losing a loved one to sudden and untimely death. crying at a bus stop in the dark, alone, probably scaring the shit out of the few passerbys is not the most becoming of a sane adult. But grief grips one at unexpected moments and losing someone or something is an unwilling feeling.

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my one chance to vote or lucky draw

2011. Highlight of our fine nation: election followed by election. Highlight for my peers and I...we get to vote..for the first time AND we have options to choose from! Lucky us.

Tomorrow, I am voting TCB for president.

I am not voting TCB because I am against Tony or the PAP. I am not voting TCB because Tony said in 1981 that there is no need for building the MRT.Yes indeed we want a man of foresight but Tony's not Superhuman... cut him some slack. GIC scandal or son scandal... all I know is this man's got some hardcore enemies, nevermind how true the stories are. Is he targeted for being too priviledged or too well liked by LKY? It doesn't bother me. I'm closer to the idea of Tony Tan growing up than an underprivileged citizen but it doesn't bother me either way.

I am voting TCB because he is the only one who is already behaving and presenting himself like a president...dignified and calm. I am voting TCB because he has got the right background and experience. I am voting TCB because he is already a winner...running the race without slowing down to jeer his opponents. I am voting TCB because the others will be so good for parliment and making them president will be a waste or simply wrong.

When I wake up tomorrow, I will not be ignorant to choose because he said she said. I will vote a president I can be proud of. Hope my peers choose with the hearts and heads too.

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novena with delkster

We eats them koream foods.

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My long held suspicion that sleeplessness does not equate to a possible industrious end product, has yet to be proven. However, the theory does seem closer to reality as I mindlessly try to reclaim what used to be so easy...words..writing...creating something, anything...

I have succumbed to yet another time wasting moment. I will try again tomorrow. I will try earlier tomorrow. Slow waker as I am... slowest waker I will make if I persist in staying up to rattle nonsense.

Bless you kind soul for bothering to read. There's really nothing to decipher. I am sleepless at 2am. Logging out.

I have an eternal teenager living in me, sulking and kicking at reason.

Nobody told me that as an adult you will still harbour a masochistic little bitch in your guts...perhaps like peter pan's shadow she has a mind of her own. Perhaps not everyone has a insecure moody 19 year old leprechaun sharing the same body...but I am sure she exist with me.