I like talking in my head...in the shower...while i walk to the bus stop...while i am getting a glass of water...meandering through the supermarket...random conversations made not in 3rd person voice so that should mean I am sane...also mainly in neutral mood or happy tone...so that should indicate I am not depressive...
Picked up a hp probook yesterday- freebie from Starhub-paid some to get a processor upgrade- and started discovering... feels like a long time without a portable computer...but really must be just 6 months or less...these tech things do make one discover some...yes i am not very tech savvy...
use to hate the idea of twitter... why in the world will i need to air my thoughts beyond blogging and facebook-ing? little embarrassed to admit how i came to sign up for a twitter a/c but for posterity sake...least i forget the day that may well change my life...this is really how it started...
I have a new crush on a personality (regular joe) and at random (since the new convenient www is now literally in my bed), I started to google him... and the more I googled the more fascinating it all became...it appears that regular joe has a side hobby... a bank of computers he works on to bring together the most awesome creating processes together and share with the world. the crush became an absolute idol... more investigation led to his twitter and with that more of the world opened up to me...
together with that voice in my head, a whole new idea emerged... it is still in its infancy and taking shape even as I blog...but there's no doubt about the excited chatter up there adding in possibilities and telling me I may have found a hobby...and my life may well change from here on...so unrelated to regular joe and my initial stalking... yet no question where the source of inspiration took life.
Aside from the whole twitter, www thing also discovered some other things today-
1. I spend more hours reading up on hotels than I do on the whole trip itself
2. I visited 6 hotels, stayed in 3 while in BKK for 6 days
3. I like food. Good food. I really do. Adventurous about food? maybe not so.
4. I spend a whole lot of time looking up design related material. but I have not figured what it is for. I could say because I like pretty things like a whole lot of people except that some of these are really not all that pretty. i just like studying them.
5. Back to hotels- I spent a good part of one afternoon writing down what i liked and did not like about each hotel while Del napped... we were in the middle of our BKK holiday... no for the last time... i didn't quite shop and I did zero activities save for walking and exploring... alot of dark, wet market lanes and dusty shop fronts... yes our idea of a holiday is not always your idea of a holiday.
6. Del says I cannot say i did a twittering... it is a tweet... seriously? ok i'm flexible.
Hobby discovering aside.. i really have a day job which requires concentration. So maybe this is a good time to shut down.
Heart pounding. perhaps I will do more discovering tomorrow. interestingly, i have yet to follow regular joe on twitter... I think I will leave it that for abit till i breed my idea...till there comes a time my life has some semblence of change... happy voice.
Thursday, 12 August 2010
Friday, 2 July 2010
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
I like me. I dont care if you don't. But perhaps I will like me even more if I had remembered what I wanted to be'. i will perhaps like me even more if I had become interesting.
But I did not. Maybe there will be a U-turn at some point. But for now, I am still a fine still life (although a tad boring).
Good night and good bye.
But I did not. Maybe there will be a U-turn at some point. But for now, I am still a fine still life (although a tad boring).
Good night and good bye.
When I Grow Up...
... I Will Be Different.
Met Noi for dinner today. We are always fantastically in sync doing the impromptu thing.
Friends are like mirrors. Good time friends are like the mirrors at fancy stores- you'll always look fabulous and you will buy in to all the ego boosting crap, which really is not half bad till you are out in the light and it seems somewhat disappointing. Uneven mirrors are the friends that let you down, make you feel awful all the time, drag you down under the water....all zits are boils and pores are craters.
Real friends are the truth revealing mirrors you rely on to put on your morning make up. Noi is like a truth mirror to me. Looking into the truth mirror today, I saw what was just beneath my make up. A smudge barely visible but a smudge nevertheless...
I never knew why there are sudden moments when a thought would flitter just at the edge of my conciousness and I feel like I have taken a road I do not recognise. I always tell myself it is okay, especially since it is a nice road and I know it leads to the nice field ahead, so I am not completely at lost. But it doesn't excite me. Everything seems pretty and pretty boring. I feel like I am equally boring. A decent still life painting of a vase of flowers boring.
Noi put it down so simply....It is not what you are doing..It is....well..you are not the person you wanted to be.
I am not the person I wanted to be. Revealation!
Awesomely positive person that I am... I have never doubted I am okay and am doing okay and will do okay. So I have become well...OK. I am not sure if okay is good enough but it sure is boring to be just OKAY. I suppose the real Oaky does not want to be just OKAY. I probably need to get a name change.
I have forgotten what I wanted to be as a child but I suppose I wanted to be different from what I have eventually become. How do I even put it down in words... I suppose I wanted to be interesting... to be intelligent, talented and quirky.. I suppose I wanted to be a Salvador Dali...without the dying lonely part.
Met Noi for dinner today. We are always fantastically in sync doing the impromptu thing.
Friends are like mirrors. Good time friends are like the mirrors at fancy stores- you'll always look fabulous and you will buy in to all the ego boosting crap, which really is not half bad till you are out in the light and it seems somewhat disappointing. Uneven mirrors are the friends that let you down, make you feel awful all the time, drag you down under the water....all zits are boils and pores are craters.
Real friends are the truth revealing mirrors you rely on to put on your morning make up. Noi is like a truth mirror to me. Looking into the truth mirror today, I saw what was just beneath my make up. A smudge barely visible but a smudge nevertheless...
I never knew why there are sudden moments when a thought would flitter just at the edge of my conciousness and I feel like I have taken a road I do not recognise. I always tell myself it is okay, especially since it is a nice road and I know it leads to the nice field ahead, so I am not completely at lost. But it doesn't excite me. Everything seems pretty and pretty boring. I feel like I am equally boring. A decent still life painting of a vase of flowers boring.
Noi put it down so simply....It is not what you are doing..It is....well..you are not the person you wanted to be.
I am not the person I wanted to be. Revealation!
Awesomely positive person that I am... I have never doubted I am okay and am doing okay and will do okay. So I have become well...OK. I am not sure if okay is good enough but it sure is boring to be just OKAY. I suppose the real Oaky does not want to be just OKAY. I probably need to get a name change.
I have forgotten what I wanted to be as a child but I suppose I wanted to be different from what I have eventually become. How do I even put it down in words... I suppose I wanted to be interesting... to be intelligent, talented and quirky.. I suppose I wanted to be a Salvador Dali...without the dying lonely part.
Wednesday, 14 April 2010
NOTHING'S FREE IN LIFE, SO QUIT WHINGING AND START DOING SOME REAL WORK.... THAT'S TO YOu and YOU and YOU and you...especially to those who use their kids as excuses, like just because I have none I should naturally have more time to do more work. Apparently, I am not human, I don't have a family or commitments. And guess what? I don't eat or sleep or pee and most of all I don't have feelings.
yes I understand the kids part but I also know of people who handle it just fine. Bottom line is, you have kids... you can't manage both... that's it...it is pretty normal. By telling people you can't do this or that because of your child isn't going to make you less incompetent and what a horrible parent for blaming it on your child...so NO it does not make you a better parent by choosing child over work if you are a CHILD BLAMER.
Don't get the wrong idea... I may stay back to do work till what 8 or 9pm? But I do not expect people to do the same! Quite the opposite! Staying late to me means you are either incompetent or over work which still means you are stupid... because if it happens every now and again that's fine... if it happens every day for the rest of your work life...you obviously are too damn dumb to realise you are overworked and do something about it.
And if you tell me everyone in your office does it??? Well bunch of pessimistic dumb sheep working for the clever corporation. What? I don't understand? Oh I do... I understand that working 16 hours a day and all through weekends for someone else is being dumb and guess what... dumb people will be promoted... to middle management...for the rest of their lives. But you are not so dumb if you do all that without complaining and actually have a plan to go beyond(I hope someone like you exist)... I'm not all that clever either but I choose not to be a pessimistic sheep.
But I digress. I don't mind staying back to do some work but if I have to stay back because You and you and You cannot manage or happen to be a CHILD BLAMER then that pisses me off. I don;t want to stay... I could leave and let it all fall apart.... But I have worked too hard for this... for a job I don't love but for the simple reason that I take pride in my work anywhere I go. I built this (I am fiercely possessive that way..)...so if you are going to come along and be stupid and ruin it all... I will take you down! Me and CJR with our Black Belts! Hiayak!
Only saving grace? Thank goodness for the my hunnie bunnies-my wing girls in the office...And I have something most people don't have-the good employer. So say WHAT pessimistic Dolly?
yes I understand the kids part but I also know of people who handle it just fine. Bottom line is, you have kids... you can't manage both... that's it...it is pretty normal. By telling people you can't do this or that because of your child isn't going to make you less incompetent and what a horrible parent for blaming it on your child...so NO it does not make you a better parent by choosing child over work if you are a CHILD BLAMER.
Don't get the wrong idea... I may stay back to do work till what 8 or 9pm? But I do not expect people to do the same! Quite the opposite! Staying late to me means you are either incompetent or over work which still means you are stupid... because if it happens every now and again that's fine... if it happens every day for the rest of your work life...you obviously are too damn dumb to realise you are overworked and do something about it.
And if you tell me everyone in your office does it??? Well bunch of pessimistic dumb sheep working for the clever corporation. What? I don't understand? Oh I do... I understand that working 16 hours a day and all through weekends for someone else is being dumb and guess what... dumb people will be promoted... to middle management...for the rest of their lives. But you are not so dumb if you do all that without complaining and actually have a plan to go beyond(I hope someone like you exist)... I'm not all that clever either but I choose not to be a pessimistic sheep.
But I digress. I don't mind staying back to do some work but if I have to stay back because You and you and You cannot manage or happen to be a CHILD BLAMER then that pisses me off. I don;t want to stay... I could leave and let it all fall apart.... But I have worked too hard for this... for a job I don't love but for the simple reason that I take pride in my work anywhere I go. I built this (I am fiercely possessive that way..)...so if you are going to come along and be stupid and ruin it all... I will take you down! Me and CJR with our Black Belts! Hiayak!
Only saving grace? Thank goodness for the my hunnie bunnies-my wing girls in the office...And I have something most people don't have-the good employer. So say WHAT pessimistic Dolly?
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
Things that $ Can Buy
Once in a while, I get into shallow mode and dream up all the delightful things that money can buy...This is from a list I made last year:
Endless supply of Body shop Olive bath stuff
Black dress with metal applique from Zara
Grey and white bubble dress from top shop
A comprehensive insurance policy + savings plan
Perfect Black Heels
Tailored tunic dress(es)
Pink tops (I don't really have those)
Holidays
Elf boots
Earl Grey Ginger Pudding @ PS Cafe
Muscato by the crate (Browns Brothers white)
Sentosa Cove House(s) @ Ocean Drive
500 Days of Summer OST
3 door Wardrobe
Sealy mattress (cushion firm silver award)
Solid beechwood queen bed frame with headboard of my dreams
Tiffany white gold mesh wire ring- massive on pointer
Sashimi brunch every Sunday
Dentist appointment twice a year
Gym membership for 2
Glucosamine
Steve Madden shoes-Kkobra and Bianna
The idea is to have some realistic items I can easily get short term....and I am ticking them off one by one...makes life a happy transit lounge...wait till I get to item no.12...
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